Today I decided to take a different approach, my son’s point
of view. When I asked him his thoughts on being raised by a teen mom I heard
some things I wasn’t expecting and thankful for all he said. I realized what I
went through was not much different then someone in their 30’s or 40’s would
have experienced while raising their children and being separated from their
father, having to rely on family and being financially and emotionally strained
at times. When I asked him to tell me
his story on how it felt being raised by a teen mom it didn’t surprise me. His
first thing was about how close we are and how me being open with him helped
him mature in his thinking when he was at the teenage years and going through
what most boys go through. But really, that has nothing to do with me being 17
when I had him. All parents should be open with their children about sex
education. And him and I being close is a real common thing I hear from mothers
with boys. I am just especially lucky with how open he has been with me throughout
the years. When you are open with your
children I feel they will be more open with you, it’s defiantly a trust
thing.
There are so many families these days with split parents,
step parents, half siblings, step siblings…..So me being a young mother and not
being with my sons father is not much different than a 30 year old in the same
situation. Funny thing is, after talking to my son, I may have even handled a
lot of things more maturely than some older mothers in the same situation. I
asked him if I ever clouded his judgment of his father or situations we may
have gone through, afraid I might have said or done something to leave an
impression. And without hesitation he told me NEVER. I am sure there may have been times my
emotions got the best of me, but I was always very careful of not expressing my
anger or frustrations about our situation to my son growing up. I see so many
separated parents saying hurtful things about the other to their child. This
behavior is so wrong, that is your child’s parent and remember the saying “do
unto others as you would want done to you”.
He emphasized how having such a close family, i.e.: my
parents and siblings, was always so nice. He realizes how important family is
because of how close knit we are and that was how he was raised. He told me
that seeing how strong I was and am has helped him in a lot of ways. To be
proud of who you are, to not back down, never be afraid to ask for help.
He did say something that kind of took me for a loop; he
said being raised by a young parent he felt comfortable talking to me about a
lot of things because he felt as if I had just gone through them. That made me
laugh, but really, there is only 17 years between us. He does have a point and
I’ve said it before, I felt as if I grew up while raising him.
Having this conversation with my son just made me realize
even more how lucky I am. I was a teen mom, and I struggled through things. I
always worried if he felt what I was going through, that I would do something
wrong, that I couldn’t provide him with the things he needed. I was so young and didn’t know any better.
Yet when I look back, I realize I did know! I did know to ask for help when
needed, I knew relying on family was beneficial. I knew that kids are very
impressionable and my actions and words he would feed off of. I am thankful today, knowing my son never knew
the difference, he never felt as if he didn’t get the things he needed and he
never felt unloved or alone. Today I am
thankful for all the things being a teen mother has taught me.
